Lesson 1

Just depend on yourself. so that you don't have to EXPECT so much from someone. =)

disturbed

I don't know why but I feel that I'm getting more & more sensitive these days. I would get upset just because somebody raises his / her voice at me. (even though i tend to do the same thing too). i think i need some space and room to think for myself. i should please myself first instead of expecting others to please me. =)

I feel stupid for being too emotional..

stoooooppppiiiiiiiddddddd me!

i made such a stooooppiiiddd mistake... i'm so angry at myself.. as some of you may know, my laptop is broken. but my hard disk is finnneeeee.. i was so happy with that.. WASSSS... i just need to get the external case.. so i went to another shop to get the case and feeling very lazy to do anything as the salesperson said that could not open it, he asked me to format it and i sort of forced him to do it (i didn't tell him that my external is from a MACBOOK) *slaps forehead* you can't open a macbook harddisk on a windows laptop... urghhhh!!! i am so stress thinking of all my teaching materials that have been deleted.. there's just sooo soo sooo many teaching materials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and not to forget my NZ pictures.. i need most of the pictures for my wedding.... UUUUUWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Freedom Of Speech

Freedom of speech is the freedom to speak freely without censorship or limitation. says wikipedia. Today I ponder. To what extent is the 'freedom' in the freedom of speech? should there be a limitation? Or are we supposed to blurt out everything? me thinks, before we speak out whatever that's on my mind, me should think first. today, as a colleague, i nearly 'lost' myself to the 'power' of freedom of speech. I was so angry today. I nearly lost control of my thinking. words are blurted out of my mouth in speed even before the logic is being transmitted into my brain (is that even scientifically correct?). i always feel blessed that i love my working environment. i live in a PERFECT working environment. well, there is no such thing as PERFECT in this world. i'd say it's ALMOST perfect. i love ALMOST everyone. emphasizing on ALMOST. This 'almost' nearly made me lose control of myself. everyday, i wish that i don't have to be associated with 'almost'. Practicing my freedom of speech: I h8 you. I friggin hate you (note there's no censorship). i know as long as i'm near you, you'll make my life as IMPERFECT as you can possibly can. even when i try to view this problem by trying to fit myself into your shoes, i still agree with me. and YES, I was not being bias. urghhh I bloody HATE you! if only i could make you DISAPPEAR! i'm trying not to use the word B here as much as I want. you despise others' happiness. you take advantage in others. and you think too highly of yourself. you are never honest. you only USE others.

mmmmmm

so true. but it is definitely not the best feeling in the world when you are meant to be something negatively to someone.

[untitled]

i don think i can bottle up my feelings anymore. i want to think of the right medium to say it out loud but when i feels like doing it something would stop me from doing it. complicated aite? i just want...

i am stubborn.

i am stubborn. period. i hate being ordered around. especially when i see there isn't any point for you to order me around. supposedly YOU have YOUR PRIORITIES right? well DEAR, i have MY PRIORITIES too!!! when you have just INFORMED me about this YESTERDAY!!!! if supposedly you have 'known' about this thing prior, why did you have to make other ENGAGEMENTS??? i am so damn pisseddddddddddddd. and i'm not in a mood to ENTERTAIN you and your priorities!

it's sad. so sad.

it's sad. so sad. it's a sad sad situation. and it's getting more and more awkward.

i don't know why sometimes i tend to make silly mistakes. always. not sometimes.

i want to focus on just one thing in life. but, i get distracted easily.

it hurts me so much in the chest.

i wish that every single matter that i need to deal with would take turns and queue up.

cause when everything comes to me in one go, i could not handle it.

and i tend to drop things easily.

and right now i'm having another fatin haya's meltdown.

i just won't shave my head (trying to insert a 'humorous' element)